I have been thinking about change lately, and fear of change. This started with looking at the property listing. At first I looked at it with an attitude that someone (but of course, not me) will be buying a beautiful piece of land. Then I looked at the listing some more. My thinking then turned to the fact that yes, eventually we would like to move from here (but of course, not now). Then I looked at the listing some more. And I thought then when? Somehow in the course of 48 hours something that seemed unthinkable became a distinct possibility. I thought what about uprooting the boys? Well, Tom wants to go to Canada for college, and Andy will be finishing fifth grade after which he was going to be homeschooled anyway. That problem got crossed off my imaginary list. Then, what about my job? I actually checked the cable service in the area and yes, there is internet service available, so the only change in my work would be the state in which my desk was located. And Jerry's work? Hmm...turns out there isn't a sunroom distributor for 80 miles or more from there. I imagine they would welcome an established one in the area (plus the fact that he would return here for some work because some of the builders he does work for won't let him do otherwise!). Two more items crossed off my imaginary list. It seemed that the more roadblocks I tried to put in my own path, the easier they were to conquer. Just as I had found a solution to each and every problem that might be encountered in moving, it hit me. Fear. Not just any fear, but gripping fear. Fear of change. Suddenly all the easy answers I had found disappeared. You're settled here - why go somewhere else and start again? Aren't you being more than a little selfish expecting everyone to change just because you happen to like the mountains? What if it turns out to be horrid there - you've sold your house and can't go back - what then? Awful, gripping fear. Then I began to wonder, what if we never made any changes because fear kept us from doing so? How stagnant would we become if we didn't try new things? (granted - selling your home and moving out of state is a tad more serious than, say, trying a new coffee flavor). At the moment I am still in the middle of this thinking, still trying to sort things out and find a comfortable place.